Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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