why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
