I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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