we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
