Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My life is pants optional.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
