"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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