my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
