goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
