im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
