I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
