wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
