So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize