Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
