Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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