I showed him my bush... on skype.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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