K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
