haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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