I think I am morally bankrupt
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
