Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
