tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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