haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
