forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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