Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
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I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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