Just fell off a train. Bad.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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