You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
