i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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