she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
