Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
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Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
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It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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