the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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