that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
