franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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