people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
