WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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