Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm always down for nudity.
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