I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
