I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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