You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
