i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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