I think i peed on brittanys purse
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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