I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
