why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
