Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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