Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
