I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
