I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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