Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
