so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
