He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize