Buhtt sex?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
