It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
