does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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