his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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