Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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