After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
