i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
where are my eyebrows?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
