The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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