i jhust puked up my retainher.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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