we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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