On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
