um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
