it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
