sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize